Top in gay community
In June , TNI’s Lou Cornum brought together three writers to discuss what’s really going on in queer lamentations of a highest shortage. The conversation has been edited for length.
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LOU CORNUM. Is there actually a top shortage? If there isn’t a top shortage, why do queers talk about it?
KAY GABRIEL. I ponder on the one hand "top shortage" doesn't actually designate a numerical situation so much as a general disidentification from "top" as an avowed sexual position; and that this tendency derives from a highly overdetermined disavowal of desire. Being (or avowing oneself to be) a bottom allows one to assume an visible passivity with respect to one's desires, at least according to the ideologeme whereby bottoming means "taking" and topping means "giving." I should clarify here that I'm using top and bottom in their robust sense of sexual roles, rather than the (I ponder equally illustrative and somewhat clearer, if also clearly curtailed) sense of who's the insertive and who's the receptive partner, who's fucking whom.
BILLY-RAY BELCOURT. However tenuous its relation to sta
Top/Bottom
The terms top and bottom emerged as descriptors of a sexual binary in the gay leather culture of the s and the bondage and sadomasochism (BDSM) culture of the s. Originally, the top-bottom binary signified both sexual positions and influence relationships in which a top was a sexual aggressor and penetrator who often acted as the more forceful and dominant partner; the bottom represented the more submissive, typically penetrated, and often "punished" partner.
DEFINITION AND USE OF THE TERMS
In the BDSM community the term top indicates the dominant loved one who inflicts pain on, enacts control over, or otherwise subjects his or her partner to acts associated with bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism. The legal title bottom indicates the receiver of such treatment. In these cases the terms are not gender-specific: A male or a female may act as a top or a bottom. Although the top is the dominant partner, the bottom often still has control. For example, a top who takes advice from the bottom's explicitly expressed wishes often is called a service top.
These terms evol
No one ever really taught me how to have gay sex. When I first started doing it, I was never entirely sure if I was doing it right. Sure, I understood the basics, I grasped the concept. What eluded me was the execution—who did what, where.
I picked a side and stuck to it, and that side was “top.” That’s the casual name for the penetrative loved one in gay sex, whereas bottoms prefer to be penetrated, and versatile (vers) partners play either part. When I first started having gay sex, that role was my one fixed show. I told myself that I would never bottom—in much the same way that I told myself that I would inevitably marry a woman, that I would never do drag, that I would never want to transition. This, obviously, was before I began identifying as gender non-conforming and was still experimenting with labels in my late teens and early twenties.
I didn’t understand it then, but the challenge was gender all along. Constantly striving for masculinity, and uncomfortable whenever I achieved it, I was afraid of so much in those early years of my sexual life—mos
Top, Bottom, Verse: A Definitive Guide to Gay Terminologies
Gay culture is incredibly abundant and diverse and has a language all its own. Though the Internet has helped to diminish the sense of isolation that many gay people may have felt in the past, there&#;s still a certain code to online gay culture.
Understanding a rare basic gay terminologies, especially ones that will aide you learn how to better communicate with queer men, can help you get more out of your online dating experience.
So whether you&#;re an ancient pro or just commencement to learn about queer sex, here is a look at some of the most common male lover terminologies as we offer you the low-down on the difference between uppermost, bottom, and versatile
What Are the Gay Male Identities?
The most common gay male identities are Top, Bottom, and Verse. The definitions of each are relatively self-explanatory:
- The top is the person in charge and/or performing the sexual act.
- The bottom is the person taking control and/or receiving the sexual act.
- The verse is someone who can go either way. They are the sexual chameleons of the gay